Safety Scissors Only, Please

Okay - so last week I went to the doctor a week early for my Hep B shot, right? And the very understanding nurse, Alli, told me to leave and not come back until the 4th. She said it had to be a month and it had only been 3 weeks. Okay, so I had just miscounted, it happens, right? So, I went back today. I rush the kids around we run in to town. I walk in. The receptionist looks at me weird. I thought, well this is odd - one would think she would know me by now. So I proceed to tell her my name. She is like, yeah, I know your name, you're not on here. I said, right, I'm not on your list because I'm just getting shot. She said, no, you're not on my list because you're not supposed to be here until tomorrow. No, I'm supposed to be here today. No, you are supposed to be here on the 4th. Yes, that is tomorrow. No. Is it?
I swear, they must think I am an absoloute moron. I asked nicely if I could go ahead and get my shot. I think they did just so I wouldn't come back. Alli gave me very strict orders to make my appointment for my last shot for 5 months and to wait for the phone call telling me to come in the next day. Should I take it personally? She did say that she would come and visit me in the hospital. I'm sure that my involuntary hospitalization is imminent.
I don't know whether to blame the alien tick bite or kryptonite. It was after all, an alien tick and I am now a host and will soon have some alien tick baby bursting out of my abdomen at an inconvenient time.Or maybe it has morphed into my brain and is affecting my thinking skills. Which is probably what is going on because I am quite fortunate each day if I make it out of the house with all of my clothes on - in the correct order.
On the other hand - I think I have been kryptonited. Which I know isn't a word, but how do you turn kryptonite into a verb? This is what has happened to me. I have always - repeat always - been a Superwoman. At somepoint in the last week or two, I have been hit with kryptonite (pehaps the tick was infested with kryptonite?). And you know how kryptonite affected Superman, so just imagine how it affects Superwoman - because women are stronger than men. And we know the bigger/stronger they are the harder they fall. So, know I have been kryptonited. And I can no longer do it all. It is a sad day in my life. Perhaps once the alien tick baby explodes out of my brain or wherever, it will take the kryptonite with it and I will be back to normal.
Yesterday I had a bit of a break and threatened to make Mike support me forever if I didn't get some help around here. Apparently he had a long talk with the kids last night while I was at school. I guess "help around here" means the kids doing more work. I was kinda meaning him not sitting in front of his computer so much, but I guess my point was missed.
As far as school, this guy that took the EMT program last year assures me that once we get past patient assessment it is all easy. I threatened him with bodily damage and he still assured me it got easier, so we'll see.......