The week(s) in review

First off, as I type this I am listening to the most delightful sound of "my" girls laughing. I love the sound of little girls giggling...although I am partial to Andrew giggles as well. It just makes your heart swell to hear that carefree laughter that only children seem to have. That complete abandon. Alexa and Hayley are giggling away...even though they are supposed to be going to sleep. But, what are sleepovers for? Definitely not for sleeping. So, for now, I will let them giggle. We don't have to be anywhere in the morning and they are on Christmas break. And I want them to have as many good memories as they can make.

My hope is that they will always remain sister close. They have known each other their entire lives...Hayley was just 2 months old when they met, Alexa was 8 months old. I am going to do everything I can to help them remain close. I want to watch them grow up together....after all, Hayley is my other daughter. They are, as Alexa called them earlier, the "cute twins".

Christmas went well. The kids went to my in-laws Christmas Eve day to play with their cousins and make cookies for Santa. They had a lot of fun. Then my mother-in-law broke a few laws as she transported all the kids in her car that wasn't quite big enough for all of them....ahem....but all ended well and they got here safely. And, as my very own Christmas miracle, Mike took me out to lunch while the kids were gone. It was even his idea.

On Christmas, after opening gifts at home, we went over to my parents for lunch. It was all very nice. My sister-in-law, niece, and nephew didn't show up, but both of my grandmas were there, as was my aunt, another aunt for a short time, brother, and us. It was small, but pleasant. The kids did pretty well for themselves, present wise. We weren't supposed to buy for adults, but my dad ignored that rule. I did buy my brother a pooping reindeer, but that was just for fun. I will post pictures later, if I remember....of the kids, not the reindeer.

When we came home, we played the Wii....for way too long. Mike and I were a bit sore the next morning from all of the tennis. All in all...a very nice Christmas.

Today I had my Nationals test. It was hard. I can't even stress how extremely difficult it was. I walked out wanting to cry. But, being me, I don't cry in public. I told Mike if it weren't for the fact that I had to go get Alexa from the sitter and meet Sandy to get Hayley, I would have been bawling. I didn't know but maybe 5 answers. I don't know where they got those questions from, but I had certainly never seen that information before...and I am a study geek. My friend that I have been taking class with doesn't call me Anal Annie for nothing. (although I think it is a trifle rude....lol....she has just shortened it to Annie) I took all the practice tests...a couple of times....and these questions weren't in the "it's like having the test in advance" book. We never covered it in class. And it wasn't just me, my friend said the same thing.

However. At 2p.m. I got an email stating that my test results had been posted. Hesitantly I went to the website....and....another Christmas miracle....I passed. I am now a state and nationally certified EMT-B. Now, I just have to find a job. Hopefully the application I mailed today to Galichia will land me a job. I would really like to work there. I have one friend already employed there and another about to be. Plus, if I can get a job there as an Emergency Care Technician, I am hoping they will pay for my nursing school. Prayers are appreciated! I will probably apply at the Valley of Death (Susan B. Anthony in El D) too. I don't know if they hire EMT's, but I know they pay for school, so it is worth a shot. Probably I shouldn't address the envelope to "Valley of Death".

It is all quiet now, here at the Ponderosa. I am going to read for a bit. I am reading a book by this wonderful author I just happen to know.....Where The Heart Leads by Kim Vogel Sawyer. It is a sequel to Waiting For Summer's Return. Very good books....and I'm not just saying that cuz Kim's my "big sister". If you haven't picked up one of her books, why not? Her new one is even available at Wal-Mart....which surprised me to no end when I walked in and there it was right in front of the door! I'm just a simple country girl, to me, that's like hitting the Best Seller's list!

Christmas in Heaven

I found this the year Amber died, and came across it today.

I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below.
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars,
reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular,
please wipe away a tear.
For I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs,
that people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.

For I have no words to tell you
the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description
to hear an angel sing.

I know how much you miss me,
for I feel your breaking heart.
But through our memories so dear,
we're never far apart.

I can't tell you of the splendor
or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas
with our Savior face to face?

I'll ask Him to light your spirit
as I tell Him of your love.
So then, pray for one another
as you lift your eyes above.

So please let your hearts be joyful
and let your spirits sing.
For I'm spending Christmas in Heaven
and I'm walking with the King.

State Boards

Just a quick little note....I passed State boards!! Now I just have National. I am hoping to do that before the end of the year. I was nervous, but I knew that I knew my stuff, I studied, memorized and prayed like crazy. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be, although by the time we actually started testing (I got there at 7:15 and we didn't start until after 9), the butterflies in my stomach had started mutating. But the examiner was super nice and helpful. My instructor - not so much. He said Thursday night that he thought my friend and I would bomb the test - he said this in front of the whole class! And then Saturday after I told him that contrary to his belief, my friend and I both passed the test, he said, "I was betting against you." Can you believe that? I still get angry thinking about it. But, it is over and I passed and that is all that counts.

Snow, the bus, and more.....

First of all, no, I didn't wreck or get stuck - sorry to disappoint. BUT, I went out this morning and my bus had a radiator leak - there was antifreeze all over the snow under the bus. This was at 6:20...so I had to hurry and call Becky, the bus barn boss, and ask if there was a bus available. They started one for me and I was able to drive my bus up there - it had enough fluid to get that far. But, the bus they started for me is one I absolutely hate. The seat is too tall, I can't reach the pedals (you have to unscrew stuff to move the seat) and can't see out of the mirrors. You use mirrors ALOT when you drive a bus. But worse than all of that, it doesn't have heat.

I was doing okay, my wipers were keeping the stuff that was blown on my windshield off, until it started drizzling and then snowing. By the time I was about halfway through my route, I could no longer see out of my window. And the side windows had iced over on the inside. I called the mechanic and he met me at the high school and sprayed de-icer on the windshield (and the driver window on the inside). We couldn't scrape the windshield because the driver side wiper wouldn't shut off!

That was enough, though, to get me to the middle school and then I inched my way back to town and to the bus barn. I parked that piece of junk bus and my boss was able to get the wiper to stop by taking the knob off and messing with the metal thing under it.

I took yet another bus home - but first I had to scrap the ice off of the steps because you know I would have fallen!

I really, really do not like winter. Turns out, Ericca is staying in Texas....up until this weekend, we thought she was moving back, so....it's back to talking Mike into moving to the Corpus Christi area! It was like 77 degrees there the other day.

On a side note - I am reading Just Beyond the Clouds by Karen Kingsbury....it is #2 in a series that will make you cry, smile, then cry some more. The first one made me cry like a baby....one of the main characters had cystic fibrosis (you don't see that a lot in books). I started last night, am on Chapter 6 and have had either tears pooled in my eyes or flat out running down my face a good portion of the time. I am going to try to finish it tonight.

And I have been sick since Friday night....I stopped throwing up before the morning on Saturday, but didn't feel well enough to go to the movies with Mike and the kids (they saw Bolt, in 3D), and slept almost all day Saturday and Sunday. I still haven't eaten because even a little bit of soup made my stomach cramp really bad...I have just consumed more sprite than I think I have in the last 10 years put together!

Mike and the kids say that Bolt is a great movie if you need a movie suggestion. Saturday, while I was sick, they saw that, then Mike's geek friends came over to play. Alexa and I hung out in her room...she strung candy necklaces and watched movies, I slept and watched movies.

Off to fix lunch for the young'uns now.....

EMT CLASS

IT'S OVER!!! Well-l-l-l.....except for 2 more classes to work on our practicals for state boards....and then the actual boards on the 20th and then the National test whenever I schedule it (hopefully soon). I did okay on the final....98%! My friend got 100%, but then I got the overall highest grade in the class. My instructor had said at the beginning of the year that he didn't want any EMT's to work on him that got a C in the class. A boy brought that up today and he said that he didn't want ANYONE in the class to work on him except for ME!! Yay ME! I am so psyched! As is evident by all the exclamation marks!!!!!

I am so glad that this class is over, it has really been tough and has required a lot of time being spent studying...ugh.

Quickies....

The kids are at e-school this afternoon, they are having a Polar Express party. I am at home studying for my final. If you read this before 5:30 p.m. Thursday, say a quick prayer for me to not get test anxiety and freak out.

Alexa got stung by a wasp on Sunday morning, and this was the first time she has ever had problems. The child gets stung a lot, so I am a trifle concerned that she might be developing a sensitivity to their poison. Her leg was still a bit swollen today, but not as bad as it was. On Monday and Tuesday she had an area about as big as the palm of my hand that was so swollen you couldn't even indent it. By yesterday it was still swollen but was going down and was squishier (yes that is a medical term...haha). I have had her on Benadryl, ibuprofen and ice packs since it happened. And, given my new training, was occasionally testing her circulation and motor function and sensitivity to touch below the area. Everything still worked fine so I didn't take her to the doctor.

We are going to the movies on Saturday - I think we are going to see Madagascar 2. And then Mike's nerdy friends are coming over. I told him I needed to study for my state boards this weekend and if those boys come over they are going to be patients....we'll see how that goes!

Will let you know how I did on the test because I am sure everyone is going to be chomping at the bit to find out........

What makes it worth it.....

This week my children have slacked so much on the schoolwork. We are at about day 2 or 3 when we usually finish schoolwork on Thursday...we will probably still be doing work on Saturday at this rate. I desperately needed a reason why I do it....why I sound like a fishmonger's wife harping at them constantly. They have been driving me crazy. So I have to find that silver lining. Fortunately.....they also never cease to amuse me (maybe the times when they are driving me crazy, I'm not so amused).

Quotes from conversations from this week:
Andrew: I don't really believe in the Easter bunny, but I pretty much believe in Santa.
Andrew: We will know this year if there is a Santa or not, mom and dad don't have any money, so if we get presents, we'll know Santa brought them. (awww)
Andrew: So, Alexa, if dinosaurs were alive today, which would be your favorite to eat?
Alexa: T-Rex
(massive conversation after this revolving around DNA, cloning, the feasibility of bringing dinosaurs back, what our bodies will be like in heaven.............)

I would have hated to miss these conversations and the amazement at the way their brains work

Big sigh of relief!

Okay...It's almost over...I am breathing a sigh of relief right now. We took our Module III exam tonight and I got a 91%....I am so psyched. I walked out of the classroom praying for a C....seriously, it was that hard. There were quite a few people who didn't pass it. The final exam is supposed to be made up of questions from Modules I, II, III....so, I am not even stressing over the final since I have gotten an A on all of the tests. Once it is over, though, I will be stressing about the State practical exam....and being judged on my skills. Unfortunately I just found out I can't take the National Exam until after I have taken the state. Which means I will be studying over Christmas break. Dang. I was wanting to shut my brain off for a couple of weeks. Oh well. I probably wouldn't have gotten it restarted.

On another bright note....I have had the best evening....as I was going to class I drove past my neighbor and stopped and talked to him. He brought me over a big round bale of hay right then for $25!!! Score. The bad thing is I was just making arrangements with my s-i-l's boyfriend to go pick up hay from where he works. Sorry, Justin....I had to go with cheap and delivered!!

This is the great thing about living in the country (other than being able to see all the stars)...I handed Bob cash and had absolutely no worries that he wouldn't deliver the hay. He went right over to my house with a BRB - probably before I got to class. I love that. I might live on an Indian Burial Ground and might constantly be hounded by their spirits....but I can trust the farmers!

Shame on you Carleton University

First...it always saddens me that no one knows anything about CF unless they are personally affected by it. Second....this is beyond ignorance of the disease itself. To say that they aren't going to give any charitable donations to CF because it is a "white man's disease" is shameful. Why is it that white people are always getting the shaft? I have never been racist...have no plans of being racist...but yet it is okay for everyone to be racist against me because I am white. I am willing to bet that very few people have heard of this story, yet if they would have made the comment, "We aren't going to give to sickle cell charities because it is a black man's disease" there would have been 9 kinds of h*** to pay.

This is just another example of how CF isn't one of the popular diseases that celebs and companies bend over backward to help.....CFF needs help!

Carleton students may review charity decision

JOSH WINGROVE
Globe and Mail Update
November 26, 2008 at 10:46 AM EST
The Carleton University Students Association was left backpedalling Tuesday and Wedneedsay after voting to call off its Shinerama fundraiser for the Canadian Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, while implying in a formal motion that the charity and the disease weren't sufficiently “inclusive.”
In a meeting Monday night, CUSA members voted 17-2 to approve a motion to look at donating the frosh week fundraising money to other charities because “cystic fibrosis has been recently revealed to only affect white people, and primarily men” and “all orientees and volunteers should feel like their fundraising efforts will serve their diverse communities.”
That left the Canadian Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, which receives about $1-million a year from more than 60 postsecondary Shinerama fundraisers nationwide, scrambling to correct the information in a story that exploded across the country.
CUSA president Brittany Smyth sought to douse the flames of the controversy Tuesday night. Citing the motion's final line, she said the debate was over whether to consider directing money raised to various charities, not about whom CF affects.
But that final line concludes the union will “work to select a new broad-reaching charity for orientation week,” appearing to imply that the CCFF doesn't meet such a requirement, and failing to mention rotating charities. Ms. Smyth nevertheless insisted that CUSA has not closed the door on the CCFF.
Ms. Smyth said on Wednesday that the matter will be re-examined at its next meeting. She told Ottawa's CFRA radio that the intent of the vote was simply to look at whether to shift the association's fundraising efforts to other charities.
CF foundation CEO Cathleen Morrison said Tuesday that “I couldn't understand what could be behind this. Like, have we got the story [about Carleton's motion] right? Obviously, the information is incorrect.”
CF is a fatal genetic disease that affects males and females equally, because children whose parents both have the gene that causes the disease have a one-in-four chance of getting it, regardless of their sex.
While it affects Caucasians – a scientific term the foundation says doesn't mean whites, but rather all people of European, North African, Middle Eastern and South Asian descent – more than black or East Asian populations, the latter groups aren't immune, Ms. Morrison said.
Janet Mitchell, a black woman whose daughter has CF, said she wasn't aware that it was present in her community in Nova Scotia before her daughter was born. She and her husband, who is white, both carry the gene.
“People need to know, whether they like it or not, it's not just a white person's disease,” said Ms. Mitchell, 44. “For anyone to say that cystic fibrosis is just a white man's disease, they're just not doing their research,” she said.
“It's actually a fair amount of confusion surrounding it. Most of the discussion around the motion was actually interest in switching charities, and not just going for one charity,” Ms. Smyth said. “Most of the people wanted to switch charities from year to year, just the idea of mixing it up.”
The motion was written by student Donnie Northrup, an orientation volunteer. Ms. Smyth said the association's rules prohibit them from changing motions in the middle of a meeting, so his draft could only be voted on as-is. Mr. Northrup said the motion was an effort to expand the benefit of fundraising.
“This is not saying that cystic isn't a ‘good enough cause,' but acknowledging that others exist and we can be more representative of the desires of students if we rotate our charities,” Mr. Northrup said in an e-mail to The Globe and Mail. “In this system, there is also the possibility to return to Shinerama after a few cycles. I genuinely do not understand all the attention this has garnered.”
Two people voted against his motion, including third-year student Nick Bergamini.
“They're trying to score cheap points by playing politics with a disease,” Mr. Bergamini said Tuesday night. “What's important to note that this does not represent what Carleton students are about. If it's going to be a black mark on anybody, it should be the student union.”
This year's Shinerama, which is over and the proceeds of which the CCFF still expects to receive, raised about $20,000.
Ms. Morrison said she hopes Carleton will continue its own Shinerama in years to come. She believes support for CF, which affects young people and for which the median life expectancy is about age 37, is broad-reaching among students.
“Our doors are always open to anybody who'd like to help. Hopefully, we can overcome the current circumstances, and come out ahead,” Ms. Morrison said.

Tradition

I am all about tradition. Love them. I continued going to my grandma's house for Thanksgiving long after I realized how detrimental to my self-esteem it was...just because it was tradition. After Amber died, I decided I didn't have to listen to the rude comments, put downs and derogatory comments about other family members any longer. Several of my extended family members attempt to disguise insults as jokes; however, they are thinly veiled. I usually left there feeling terrible about myself. One, because of the comments directed to me, and two, because of participating in the whole sham. It's sad really because you would find yourself making comments just to try to detract the barbs away from yourself. The whole thing was awful. But, it was tradition. It really is sad that family has to behave that way toward each other.
This year changed my view of the last five years. We went to my parents' house along with my s-i-l, her boyfriend, my niece and nephew; my aunt and uncle, cousin, and her kids. There were a few comments made here and there, but they were in fun.....completely joking. Even though my brother made reference to some hocky puck biscuits I made 22 years ago! It was 22 years ago...let it go.

This is until my brother from Ohio showed up. We were hoping to have left before he got there, but he arrived sooner than expected. He was so rude to my nephew. And basically treated the rest of us like we were something he needed to scrape off his shoe....with total disdain. He has this "thing" about people having babies out of wedlock...apparently everyone who ever had a baby without a marriage license is going to burn forever in hell. And he has said this...the day my brother died to be exact. So, now, there is a chance Tommy might be a dad...so he bore the brunt of the holier-than-thou comments. It makes me so very angry. It was okay for he and his wife to have sex before they got married, because they didn't wind up pregnant. If you have sex and get pregnant - that's a sin. Whatever. Fortunately he doesn't come home very often. And even when he does, he mostly spends time with his in-laws, so we aren't subjected to his pious views.

Hopefully, the dinner we enjoyed prior to his holiness's arrival will be the start of a new tradition...one where we all get along and enjoy each other's company.